All the Yashraj films are to be blamed for this particular post that you have to read. Born in late 1980’s my childhood and adolescence was heavily fed on these romantic films. They not only formed strong image of ideal better half, without whom your life is incomplete but also defined symptoms of falling in love and aftermaths of a break-up. From Chandni (1989) till Veer-Zaara (2004) almost all films contributed heavily in formation of my ideologies of love, life and lust (read as the mushy, lovely-dovey cuddles and hugs, sex was alien to them). So over a period of time, I kept on Falling in Love again and again, in the Yashraj style.
I eagerly waited for my college life to start, as all his love stories normally take place when the lead characters start going to college (or minimum qualification required is 10+2). It gives college a mystic image, as if the moment I set my feet in, guys will go down on their keens, propose me and my love story will kick-start. Unfortunately Som-Lalit College of Commerce did not provide lot of Rahuls around. I did research, calculations and planning, but nothing worked and I started panicking as time slipped out of my hands. I was yet to find my Mr. Right.
All this while, when I felt disheartened, I remembered the evergreen Yashraj mantra, “Someone, somewhere is made for you…” and reviving my spirits I would get back to my ‘Boyfriend’ hunt. And than it happened, winds started blowing, hairs started flowing, violins were playing and I met him. First eyes met, then we and I thought even our hearts met. In typical Yashraj style, three to four love songs played in background and my chiffon dupatta was flowing all over the campus. Normally after the song and dance sequence, guy proposes, but here there were no signs of him proposing me. I waited, one week and then two, finally I gave up and said, I Love You. He looked at me and said,” Sorry Dude, I don’t know you.” Ahhhh… My heart broke into thousand pieces.
I was a bit confused as no Yashraj film ever talks about heart breaks at such an initial stage (read as love story ends before the title credits begin). I thought I will get more chances. On the very next turn, I bumped into a geek. Actually geek will be a wrong term, as he was pathetic in studies; the only thing god gifted him was good looks and a golden heart. During one of the college functions, he was dressed in all white, white shoes, white trousers, white belt and a white shirt. I thought Chopra uncle himself was hinting that this is the one. What if he is not on white horse, he himself has turned into MAN IN WHITE. The violin sequence happened again and I started floating in the air.
I was careful with duets this time and thought one thing at a time. We started exchanging text messages and graduated onto hour long phone calls. With each day passing, I knew he is the one, my Rahul! And one fine day, in another desperate attempt, I proposed. This time the weather was to be blamed. It was raining and the romantic soul within me jumped out at said, “Will you be my date?” It took me 3 days to make him understand what a date meant, on fourth day he understood the concept and rejected my proposal.
With yet another broken heart I pledged this time, no more romantic Yashraj. Though I had started hating Yashrajs by now for floating myth of perfect love stories in our main stream cinema, each time I met ‘eligible’ (anything that remotely resembled MALE species of homo-sapiens) match, Yashrajs took over my sensibilities. One after the other, rejections kept on streaming in. A long distance online relationship came to an abrupt end when he saw my snap (at times I have that kind of effect on people), the college rock-star resurfaced and rejected me three more times, a library crush, a canteen crush, and an office crush, everyone politely but firmly kept on rejecting me.
2000s interestingly started showcasing looser supporting characters in Hindi movies which now got all my sympathies. The guy would be shown heartbroken after he proposes a girl (or ‘N’ number of girls). From the main lead to this supporting character, my life seemed to be on a slide. I never understood why movies never portrayed ‘girls’ who were rejected ‘n’ number of times and celebrated their single status? If not motivational, it could atleast have served as caution sign.
Today I am on the verge of completing my masters, economically I am independent and have a promising career to look forward to and yet the desire to be loved and belonged by a man is not quenching. We are so heavily fed on the notion of ‘perfect love’ that without a partner our life seems incomplete. All the guys by whom I have been rejected, till date are my close friends. Yet an illusionary void of not belonging to someone special can be felt. I hope someday, we will have better cinema to feed on which makes us independent individuals rather than creating unsatisfied longing for ‘perfect life-partner’.
